Personal Posts

LC and I no more!

I honestly don’t even know where to start?

We were fine when I went back home, talking everyday. The week I came back his parents were done so he said that we won’t be able to FaceTime but we could still talk. There was one day that I did doubt his true feelings and he got a bit annoyed so he left his parents to call me.

I didn’t believe that he actually loved him, because how can you love someone that quickly? However he was firm on the point that he knew what it was, that he felt those feelings for me!

Well anyway he pulled a something in his ankle training last week, so he was obviously disappointed and angry. He become a little bit more quite with me talked less. Until one day last week I said that we either talk properly or not at all. His response was that we don’t talk at all. I couldnt believer my ears. Never thought he would say something like that. He always said that there was no problem that he couldn’t fix that no matter what I wouldn’t push him away. Not only that but he also told me to do what ever it took to get used to this.

He phoned me up and said that he needed time to think about whether he can conutie to do this with me or not. LC said that I never give him space when he asks for his. So I gave him a whole three days of space. LC rung me up Thursday saying that he couldn’t do the long distance relationship anymore, that he hated me waiting for him while he was at training. I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes I had to put the phone down on him, I literally couldn’t speak.

I text him the next say could we not give it a try I would’t text him as much that we would take baby steps till he was ready. His response was I’ve taken the time to make up my mind, I’ve made my decision and I’m going to stick with it! I mean what sort of response is that?

Saturday I asked to FaceTime him, he agreed. I stated that I would like to give it a try as we haven’t even given it a proper chance. LC said that he didn’t want to talk to me anymore that he had already given it a chance. He said that he was sick of my problems and having to deal with them all the time. Problems? What that I doubted his feelings because I didn’t believe that he felt that way about me! That was literally it! I literally begged him to just give it a chance to see that it could be really good, that this is something really special and I didn’t see it as something going to waste.

The whole way through this conversation his face didn’t change bit, he looked so cold it was like I was talking to a stranger. LC said that he didn’t want to continue as he had no feelings for me what so ever, that he didn’t love me at all.

I literally couldn’t believe what I heard. Like how can you go from saying you love someone that you wanted them to do everything they could to get used to it. To I don’t have any feelings for you at all? It just didn’t make sense, it still doesn’t! I just don’t understand. Surely if you love someone and they have a few small issues you work through them? I had to put down the phone because he just didn’t show any emotion what so ever.

I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest, I trusted him with everything I had. I believed everything that came out of his mouth! I broke down, I just don’t get it. He completely changed!!! I said to him that I don’t want either of us to regret the decision we made in a few months, he said that its fine he could live with the his choice!

LC made me doubt everything he ever said to me. How can you say you love someone and then  next thing you say you have no feelings what so ever? The only thing that I can try and excuse him is that maybe his parents or his coach or whatever so how distracted he was and told him that he couldn’t see me anymore? But I still don’t understand him! No matter what the reason is or was, I will never ever forgive him for it. It was like I meant nothing to him, I was analysing everything he said to everything he did! 

I’ve never felt so heartbroken, worthless and physically sick in my life then right now. Like I actually feel really shit about myself. I feel like no one will ever love me for who I am, that I have to many issues for people to handle!!

Leigh xo

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9 thoughts on “LC and I no more!

  1. don’t think that. once you’re single and even just put yourself out there a little its amazing how you many people you wouldn’t expect are interested. If you have to work for his attention and ask for him to be there and talk to you then thats not what you want. been there! they try to get you feeling like its your fault but you have given him chances and if he’s chosen that then why be with someone who isn’t sure about you or try to be with someone who can go a day without wanting to know how you are. you will find someone who cares and who loves you for you. you never know who is round the corner, but don’t doubt yourself. just because someone doesn’t necessarily see or appreciate your beauty doesn’t mean its not there. some people are just blind in every way

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    1. I’m trying not to. It has all just knocked my confidence a little bit. I never really put myself out there at all. Maybe that’s what I need to do! I want someone that wants to be with me, talk to me every second. I just feel like it’s all my fault that I’m doing something wrong. I just don’t understand how you can go from loving something to nothing! I just hope that I find someone that puts as mug effort into me as I do

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      1. you will it does just take time i think, focus on yourself and then it will come, no one can love you until you love yourself is what my family always say. keep going and it will come, no harm in putting yourself out there though!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so horrible! Don’t feel like that Hun, it’ll take time but know that you’re worth sooo much more than you were feeling when you write this! People DEFINITELY love you for who you are and if there’s anyone that doesn’t then forget them, you don’t need them! As for having issues, every one has them, & I guarantee that someone will come along and won’t even see a single one of them 😘 We all have issues but they don’t ‘make’ us, you’re worth more than you were made to feel and it’s really upsetting to read this, especially the end part 😦
    Hope you’re okay & hope you realise how special you are, here if you want to talk xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was really horrible. I’m starting to get over it a little. But I do still think about him. I think about the great time we had. Then I think about the stuff I might of said or did. I hope that I find someone thrash makes me forget him and move on. I do try, it’s really hard though. Thank you so much. Dxxx

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